Just mADE A PArabola og urine
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
only you would photoshop your dick
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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