remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize