i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Your cock deserves a montage
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
