I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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