Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
