I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
