Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
