Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
