Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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