At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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