if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
