i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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