I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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