You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
