thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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