on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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