i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
