I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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