He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.