I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert