So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.