According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.