We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.