she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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