she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
