I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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