i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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