Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
