Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
