so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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