Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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