They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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