I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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