You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
