Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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