Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have already put on my inside pants.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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