he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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