Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
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