that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize