..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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