I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
