i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
