conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
