i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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