We're facebook friends in real life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize