Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
