I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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