before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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