some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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