id be glad to
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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