$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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