i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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