is your mom at the bar?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize