Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
