just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
