I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
