Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
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