oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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