Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
